Finding Refuge Inside

Yes, for those of you who have been wondering -- I survived my 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat. I've been procrastinating over this blog post because I'm at a loss over how to describe my experience (at one point, I told a friend that it was like Jedi mind training). I'll take a page from classic literature and say that Dickens put it best -- It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I happily jaunted off to this retreat having no clue about what to expect other than a lot of meditation and 10 days of silence. My previous meditation experience had been in the Shambhala tradition, and I knew very little about Vipassana. I'm so glad that I came to the retreat knowning nothing -- it only made my experience that more awe-some and impactful.

Since I'm an action over talk kind of girl, I took to the technique like a duck to water. As written in the Discourse Summaries of S.N. Goenka:

"None of this can be attained just by thinking about it or wishing for it. One must take steps to reach the goal. For this reason, in a Vipassana course the emphasis is always on actual practice...it is upe to each person to implement these guidelines: one has to fight one's own battle, work out one's own salvation."

Goenka has been quoted as saying, "Liberation can be gained only by practice, never by mere discussion."

Goenka's teachings and the technique resonated with me in a way that I could never have anticipated. All that I had read about regarding liberation from craving and aversion came to life and I got to experience attachment in my own body. As far as I'm concerned, nothing is more powerful than experiential learning. I remember sitting in the darkened meditation hall the very first night (before the official start of the 10 days) hearing Goenka talk about how we often go outside of ourselves for fulfillment and how this technique would teach us how to find refuge in ourselves. Upon hearing those words, a smile came upon my face and I knew that I was in just the right place at the right time in my life.

Of course the experience wasn't all a bed of roses. There were days I struggled with the pain of sitting, resistance to sitting, the monotony of the schedule, etc. Most often the rough times were eclipsed by amazing insights, learning experiences, and all out bliss. There were times I wondered if I could last 10 days, and there were times I fantasized about packing my bag and sneaking away in dead of the night. I didn't run away and I did make it the 10 days. And on that last morning, I sat in the meditation hall with tears in my eyes knowing that I'd miss the cool, dim meditation hall, the monotonous schedule, the rigors of sitting for so many hours a day, the evening discourses, the people going through the 10 days along side me, and everything else about my experience.

My time at the center (I went to Dhamma Dhara in Massachusetts) can be summed up in this video by Dhamma.org. Of course this is something that has to be experienced to be appreciated and I would highly recommend the course to anyone who wants to change his/her life. I'm already thinking about going back for another 10-day course at some point in the next year. And, I'm happy to say, that I've been sitting for two hours a day since my return. To every life a little Vipassana must come...

The downside of my 10 days in Vipassana land is that I now have to catch up on a myriad of things that occurred in my absence. I have a few things that I recently discovered (some before I left and some after I returned) that I'd like to share:

1. A few weeks back, B.K.S. Iyengar was interviewed for CNN Asia. The interview has finally been posted online and can be found here.
2. Check out this nifty tool for estimating what your impact is on this earth. I'm sure we could all learn how to be more earth-friendly!
3. iYogaLife offers some yoga quick fixes for everything from keyboard strain to a hangover. Click here to see their Web site and get a link to their podcast.
4. Yoga teacher, author, and founding director of the new yoga therapy certification program at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles Larry Payne talked to YogaMates about the phyiscal benefits of yoga.

Okay -- that's me catching up on the latest yoga scoop. Now I just have to wade through my packed-to-capacity inbox. Oh joy! Of course after logging my hours of Vipassana, my inbox doesn't really bother me! Ahhhhh, it's good to be back -- and it's good to find refuge inside.

Namaste!

Comments

[slpete42]

Glad you got to go, glad you're back. Reading with interest, thanks for writing. Am pleased to know you will do here as serves your mission.

[Frida]

You have sold me. I've also only ever learned meditation in the Shambhala tradition but I am also absolutely one for learning through doing and since a meditation retreat is on my list of things to do for myself sooner rather than later this post was just the nudge i needed. Thanks very much for sharing this.