Get Your Head Out of Your Asana

This past weekend I enjoyed two intense days of yoga training. I'm in the thick of a training program in an ancient yoga tradition. Many of my classmates are similar to me -- they have a decade of so of yoga experience and much of their studies have been in a different style of yoga than we are currently learning (of course there are some yoga newbies in the class as well). You know what happens when you get a bunch of yogis with a decade or more experience in one room? Samskaras.

HUH? Habits. Bad habits. Habits we've picked up from teachers that we've studied with in the past; habits that we've developed over time; habits we've picked up ourselves from years of thinking we know what yoga "really" is. Suffice to say, my studying the ancient tradition of yoga has totally turned my previous definition and practice of yoga on its head. And while I love it, I find myself in unfamiliar territory -- an unsure beginner who is reevaluating her previous practice and recognizing her bad yoga samskaras.

Here are some of my top yoga samskaras:

• Pushing myself too hard in my practice and not listening to what my breath is telling me (or worse, holding my breath)
• Caring more about satisfying my ego by muscling my way into a posture rather than loosening my body's knots and strengthening what's weak and balancing what's imbalanced.
• Being too focused on asana and not focusing on the other tools of yoga

There are others, but I won't bore you with a laundry list. Suffice to say -- I've changed the way I practice and the way I look at yoga. Still, I have some patterns that have been around for a decade that still rear up every now and again. And I'm not the only one. This particular training class has a lot of Ashtanga students in attendance. Seeing a less rigorous flow of yoga coupled with an emphasis on function over form is a bit foreign to these folks as well.

Each Sunday morning of training, we enjoy a 50-minute yoga class in the tradition in which we are studying. Since we're learning an ancient tradition, we're learning the context in which the teachings come from. Many of the postures we know and practice today aren't applicable to folks in mid-life. Mid-life is a subjective thing based on the culture and society being referring to, of course. In ancient India, mid-life could very well be my age (37). Makes you cringe, doesn't it? But true enough. The point is -- in ancient India, the asana you would have been taught at 15 would vary from what you'd be instructed at 30, 40, and so on.

This doesn't seem to hold true in America. Often you'll see a yoga class with an age range from folks in their 20s to folks 50 and over. Yet, the asana they perform is the same. That's a big no-no. Makes sense, right? Yes, age is more fluid in today's American society. People have children in their 40s, change careers in their 50s, get married and divorced at every age. Still, the body of a 15 year old is going to greatly differ from that of a 30+ person (we don't like to hear it -- especially in our age-phobic society, but it's true).

I was greatly humbled when we started learning the siksana (meaning perfection in Sanskirt -- in this case, we were learning postures given to young boys who were in prime physical condition) technqiues and I realized how roughly 90% of the population is "unfit" to do a large number of yoga postures. I -- although I resisted this for quite some time -- am included in that 90%. Despite the fact that I have been practicing these asanas for years, I can't even come close to practicing them in a siksana way. In other words, I'm unfit to do many of the postures I've been forcing my body into for the past 10 years. Gulp! Now if that doesn't make a yoga gal want to run and hide her head in her yoga mat bag, I don't what does.

I digress. My point is that on Sunday, we did a practice in which the goal pose was Ustrasana (Camel pose). Just as a reminder -- I've been practicing this posture for years. And I've been doing so with my knees and legs apart (and my hands never grasped my ankles but rested on the soles of my feet). Tisk. Tisk. The siksana way calls for the knees and legs to be together and for reaching back to clasp your ankles be a smooth movement (no grunting and straining allowed). Makes sense, right -- this pose should stretch the back and if you're compensating with hip flexibility and arm strength, you're not really getting a good back stretch. Not to mention the fact that you're breath isn't even close to being smooth and even. No breath, no yoga so they say.

Then there's Virabhadrasana. Back in the day, I was all about bending that front knee and working my thigh parallel to the ground. My motto was "the deeper the better." Tisk. Tisk. The pose is actually a purvatana posture, which means it's classified as a pose that opens the front. If you bend the knee and go deep, how can you possibly open your chest and stretch the front of your body? Since I've started practicing Vibrabhadrasana as it was meant to be practiced, I've noticed a reversal in my desk jockey slump (too much blogging for me, I'm afraid).

As we're going through the practice my next door mat neighbor is practicing with his own samskaras -- to the point that the teacher came over to him and point blank told him not to go so deep into a posture. Now, how often to you hear that in a yoga class? I could see his face reflecting his suprise. It would seem that my friend and fellow student has samskaras when it comes to the practice of yoga as well.

At least I've learned something in the 13 or so months I've been in this training. I've realized that pushing myself on the mat doesn't get me further -- it only tightens my body and doesn't get me anywhere. When we came to Ustrasana after a great deal of prep, I simply braced my palms on the back of my hips and arched back a bit. I didn't even try to come into the full expression of the pose. That's a first for me. I'm learning how to back off in order to go further. And it sure does feel a lot better than pushing.

My ego didn't want to listen to my body (which was clearly saying "no go" in regards to Ardha Ustrasana -- which is actually more difficult than full Ustrasana -- and Ustrasana). It wanted to do what it always does -- muscle into the pose like everyone else in class. After all, I have over a decade of yoga experience, remember? Yes, but according to the ancient yoga tradition, I wouldn't be performing siksana practices at my advanced age (I can't help it -- I winced as I typed that). I can wince all I want, but the body doesn't lie -- I am "unfit" to do the pose. And modifying the pose puts me in the same boat -- it merely enables me to achieve the form while bypassing the function. Another tisk, tisk.

While I still have a long way to go in terms of my samskaras, I'm pleased that I acknowledged and accepted that I am unfit to do the pose and backed off. That's definitely not something that I would have done 10 years ago. The good news -- by being less focused on asana, I can practice the other wonderful tools of yoga.

Not only am I learning about yoga in a new way and from a new perspective, but I'm learning how backing off -- something rather poo poohed in our culture -- can get you further. And I'm not just talking about yoga here.

Namaste!

Comments

[Diane Cesa]

Hi Tasha --
Thanks for commenting. I know what you're saying and I've been there myself. Think of it this way -- if your breath is forced/labored/erratic, what sort of effect do you think that's having on your mind and your emotions? If you're practicing yoga for a more stable mind, don't you think that uneven breathing would defeat the purpose of the practice? I would suggest watching your breathing closely while you practice. If it becomes labored, back off. And notice what a practice that is more breath focused feels like afterwards. How does it compare to a practice in which you're pushing yourself? Just notice. Let me know how it goes. I'd love to hear. Thanks again for commenting!

[Diane Cesa]

Thanks for your comment, Lisa. I do happen to think that it's about more than asana (as you can see from this post and others). I know that many folks don't believe this. All I ask is that you (you general, not you specifically) be open to seeing yoga for all that it has to offer by looking beyond asana. Thanks for commenting!

[Diane Cesa]

Slpete42 -- I'm glad that this post was inspirational for you. I just loved following your thought process as I read your comment. Excellent! Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

[Diane Cesa]

Hi Flo --
Thank you for your comment. How wonderful that you're discovering so much during your practice. Even though I've been practicing for a decade, I still consider myself a newbie too. And I'm still learning all sorts of things. That's one of the great things about yoga -- the learning never stops (if you're open to it, of course). Thanks again for sharing your learnings. Wonderful!

[Diane Cesa]

Thank you so much Ana! I'm glad you enjoyed the post.

[Diane Cesa]

Hi Celine --
Thanks so much for your comment. I'm so glad you're reading this as you start on your yoga journey. The beauty of yoga is found in the surrender rather than the resistance. Enjoy!

[Diane Cesa]

Thanks for your comment Amy! It can take a while to really get it, right? That's what I've found in my case. Heck, I'm still getting it!

[Amy Lundberg]

Great post. I was the same way when I first started doing yoga.

[celine_bikramdiaries]

This is a wonderful read for someone who's literally a baby in terms of yoga practice. I'm a TOTAL newbie, and prone to muscling my way into things because of my former-ballet-dancer ego. Good to be told early on that that is not the point!

[Ana]

Your blog is so great! Thank you for the post - this is so true - I feel it in my practice more and more.

[Flo]

You know this week I am learning about Samskaras while readinga book for my upcoming week-long Vinyasa Training. I also like to hear about this from other peoples perspectives.

I also really related to your bad habits. I have been practicing Ashtanga on and off for 3 year and really consider myself new to yoga practice.
However, I took my first Anusara class last week. I thought I should try some other styles to see what is out there. I am suffering from Sciatica and felt that I was pushing myself too hard in my Ashtanga practice. It isn't the practice itself it is my approach.
I really enjoyed Anusara; so much that it has ignited something within me after just one class.
At the end of Anusara I realized that:
1) I too am Pushing myself too hard in my practice and not listening my body or breath.
2) That I've been putting too much pressure myself and my practice.

And that both of the above are ego-driven.
I can't wait to hear more about what you uncover on this new path.

[slpete42]

Your topic is very worthy. It begins to slide again in the direction of “Death of the Yoga Class” for me.

I at Indian mid-life of 37 and then 30 more had routinely been attending general, easy classes with good yoga practitioners leading. During this experience, I spent time striving to attain what Diane says is probably unattainable. Often the principle of paying attention to what was going on with my breath was forgotten. Sometimes I slammed my body around. Horizontal thigh during Virabhadrasasana was surely something I worked for. To what ends, to live forever, to deny being older, to prove I belonged, to win esteem?

Samskara. Karma: frustration, now some lingering disabilities that probably can be encouraged to recede, but they are not leaving easily.

In a bit of a jump off the tracks, what could have been better:
1. Someone in my face wondering about how is your breathing? And how is the balance between effort and joy?
2. An improvement in language about what the person in the front of the room is doing. If the person is practicing while leading the class, then the person is a leader. As such the students will benefit from their knowledge of sequencing, their ability to inspire and the joy of association. People who need instruction or otherwise cannot participate correctly should be kicked out. If the person is watching the students (adapting form, checking for yogic error of the kind Diane informs us on and relating the moment to yoga’s ways) then the person is a teacher. Teaching should probably should cost more.
3. Less esteem for attainment, frequent attention to being properly in the practice.
4. A committee or portfolio of class teachers risks much. Inconsistency in various dimensions and confusion about what yoga is in comparison to what the greater teachers have written and what Diane is talking about.

What has been good: I have been introduced, I have been inspired, I have been taught. Thanks for these gifts from my teachers. Thanks to Diane now, for light on proper asana and beyond asana.

[Lisa]

This was a beautiful, inspiring post. Thank you so much for sharing!

I guess this is yoga as the journey and not the asana...

[Tasha]

I sacrifice my breathing in order to get the best stretch possible. It's like I can't breathe and move at the same time.