Illness as Yoga Practice

Last week I was knocked down cold by some sort of nasty virus. I had the whole enchilada -- sweats, chills, almost vomit (not a good sign from someone who hasn't actually vomited since she was 6 years old). Needless to say I was miserable, uncomfortable, and weak...and yet the whole experience felt like some sort of yoga retreat.

Say what?!?!? I know, I know -- it sounds a little crazy, right? No, I'm not on medication and haven't lost my marbles (at least I don't think so). Just hear me out...

I awaken in the wee hours of the morning feeling unsettled, which then leads to feeling inhuman (yep, I'm a total wimp about the nausea/vomit thing). As I semi sit/lay on the bathroom floor, I find myself resorting to yoga tactics -- I focus on my breathing and try to use it to calm my roiling stomach. I sit in stillness simply noticing what's happening (heck, I was too weak to do anything about it anyway). I even gave myself a little internal pep talk like I did when I was 1.5 hours into sitting absolutely still while being instructed in a meditation technique while dealing with my mind screaming over the fact that various body parts had fallen asleep and/or were filled with "sensation" (translation: pain).

Time seemed to slow down to a crawl (today I'm feeling better and I'm wondering how it got to be late afternoon so quickly -- of course!) and all I could do was focus on the moment. I really, really wanted to feel better but I didn't know whether the next moment would bring about something worse or something better so I narrowed my focus to the present moment. I focused on my breath. In. Out.

Hmmmmm...if I had been laying on a yoga mat rather than the tiled bathroom floor, I could have been in a yoga class. Granted, I've never felt so physically awful in a yoga class, but there was an intriguing similarity between being sick and...well, just plain ole being. 

For me, when confronted with misery, my only option seemed to be sitting and noticing what was going on in my body without getting too caught up in it. It's a bit like Vipassana meditation (not as I learned it from S.N. Goenka but more like the folks from Insight Meditation) -- you notice and label what you're noticing in a non-judgmental/witness sort of way. So for breathing you label the inhale "rising" and the exhale "falling." When you notice yourself getting lost in thoughts, it's "thinking." When you find yourself listening to a noise outside, it's "hearing." And when feeling something physically uncomfortable, it's "sensation." It was interesting to me how I got less hooked in feeling miserable (which is a judgment, not a label) when I noticed sensation without judging it. Granted, this isn't a new concept for me, as I've experienced this during meditation. I've just never had this experience when I've been in physical pain.

Ah, yoga and meditation practice pays off yet again.

Prior to getting sick, I found myself doing short bursts of Vipassana meditation throughout the day. I even tried it during my yoga practice. Why not try it yourself and see what happens? Your mind might just get a little quieter, your pain a little less intense, your life a little more peaceful.

Namaste!

P.S I'd like to thank everyone for their comments about my last post. The discussion was lively, and I often wanted to jump in and keep it going, yet I held back because I had already presented my views on the subject. I sure did appreciate reading all of your views though. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being heard!

Comments

[Bob Weisenberg]

Forgive the long comment, but this is so relevant I thought it would be OK to just copy the whole thing in instead of linking:

Can Yoga Cure the Common Cold?

I have a really bad cold--the kind of cold that wakes you up in the middle of the night with coughing and sneezing and makes your whole body sore.

OK, Yoga from the earliest days was an effort to relieve suffering, right? A little old common cold should be a pushover for Yoga Philosophy, right? Let's match up the key points of my philosophy with my effort to get through this cold.

The Present Moment--Instead of bemoaning my discomfort and mentally trying to escape from it, I settle into calmly experiencing what is going on at this very moment. I let myself relax toward the discomfort rather than fighting it.

The Wondrous Self--After awhile, since I'm paying attention instead of escaping, I start to marvel at what's going on inside my body. It's almost like an action/adventure movie--the white blood cells are rushing in to fight the evil virus cells. What a scientific wonder that the virus doesn't just take over and destroy me. There is a lot going on in this movie. I'm rooting for the good guys.

The Wondrous Universe--I can't help but notice, since I'm paying attention, that the rest of the universe is still out there and still wondrous. I'm still part of that wondrous universe, and the vast majority of the atoms and cells and systems in my body are still functioning in their indescribably wondrous way, cold or no cold.

Mind, Body, and Spirit--My muscles are really sore. I get up and run through my usual Yoga neck, shoulder and torso routines, focusing, as usual, on fully experiencing the sensations of each movement. This makes my muscles feel much better, and my mind and spirit, too.

I start to experience a version of Pure Awareness--My cold is becoming more and more vivid while simultaneously getting smaller and smaller in relationship to the wonder all around me and in me. I find myself able to experience An Abundance of Joy, even in the face of this very uncomfortable cold.

Can Yoga cure the common cold? No, but it sure can help with the symptoms.

(In the interest of full disclosure, this piece exaggerates somewhat how well this technique really worked. After I wrote it, I was still miserable at times and wanted to throw Yoga and everything else out the window. But it still helped a lot in general.)

Bob Weisenberg
YogaDemystified.com