It's been one heck of a week. Actually it's been a heck of a couple of months. No, it's not the bad kind of heck. It's actually all been good. Really, really good. It's been one experience after another, one discovery after another, one connection after another, one adventure after another, one joy after another...and yet I find myself having that stop-I-want-to-get-off-the-merry-go-round feeling.
See, the thing is, I've been doing a lot. I've been active. I've been focused on pushing edges, discovering, and going after things. Very active. It would seem that I've lost sight of the fact that one shouldn't mistake receptivity for passivity. In all of this doing, I find myself longing for some being. It's that being, receptive state in which we can receive the goodness we've been blessed with. And the best part -- receiving it opens the door for more to enter.
Over the past 3 or so years my yoga practice has changed from one of doing to one of being. I started out trying to get stuff from my yoga practice -- I wanted to get flexible, I wanted to get peace, I wanted to get good at asana, I wanted to get the yoga teacher's praise, I wanted to get immersed in the history and philosophy of yoga. All of that activity didn't connect me to my yoga practice. In fact, it had the opposite effect. I was a 6-days-per-week yoga practitioner who was disconnected from her practice. I couldn't receive the benefits of a regular yoga practice because I was so driven by "doing" my yoga.
These days I receive so much from my practice -- more than I could have ever imagined I would when I first started practicing (and, of course, many of those wants fell away -- I could care less about my asana form or teacher praise or flexibility). Rather than taking from yoga, I'm now allowing it to give to me. And give it does -- on every level. This morning when I raised my arms overhead on an inhale I felt my whole body breathe and open and come alive. I certainly never had that experience when I was trying to get something from yoga.
Life, like yoga, has given me so much. I'm blessed in so many ways (in every way, actually) and I'm so damned grateful that it sometimes takes my breath away (luckily I have yoga to find it again ; )). Rather than always reach for more, it can be nice to sit back, relax, enjoy and be grateful for what one has. That's the Savasana of life -- lying still, in rest, integrating and receiving all that has been offered.