I recently heard someone speak about the Greek term, Kenosis, which is translated as "self emptying of one's own will and becoming entirely receptive to God's divine will." This person movingly spoke about erasing herself, becoming nothing. At first that thought can seem scary (we do, after all, spend quite a bit of time and effort on distinguishing ourselves as being this or that, building our images, playing certain roles)...until you see the exciting possibilities behind it. At the end of 2015 I realized that it's time for me to erase much of what I've built myself up as so I can become more of who I truly am.
2016: Entertaining a Bigger Possibility
That's why I'm having this heart to heart talk with y'all. Back at the end of 2011, I rebooted my life. I took it down to the foundation and rebuilt something entirely different. I basically created a life that felt more real and authentic than anything that came before and these past 4 or so years have been incredible in ways that defy description. I consider myself extremely blessed to be living the life I am. The process of recreating my life was more full of love, adventure, juice, and joy than I could have ever imagined. The start of 2016 has opened up even more possibility and I find myself ready to dive deeper, create bigger, and expand more.
My Humble Yoga and Meditation Beginnings
When I first started practicing yoga well over 15 years ago, I didn't know it was going to lead to a blog, a whole new career, a business. I started out at first because I wanted to move my body in a different way. Then when I started practicing regularly, I realized that I had started for a deeper reason -- connection. I wanted to be more connected to my body and myself.
Years ago, yoga looked like a vigorous vinyasa practice. It would go through many transformations over the years, moving towards a gently moving meditation practice to something with more movement back to vinyasa and then to what it is today, which is a practice filled with movement that goes at my own pace. Somedays it's more meditative than others.
My meditation practice has shapeshifted in very much the same way. It started out in Buddhist style, morphing into Vipassana, shifting into guided meditations with no specific method behind it, then it began looking something akin to prayer and now it looks like communing with the divine.
Regardless of the different forms these two practices have taken, they've consistently been a part of my life. And they will continue to be.
A Blog Was Born
I've been writing this blog for over 10 years now. I'm so very grateful that there are people out there that still care to read. Connecting with others through the written words has been both a passion and a delight for me. When I first started, it was something I did purely for the fun of it. I was so very passionate about yoga and I wanted to share that passion and my experience with others. Little did I know that I would connect with tens of thousands of people, build a private yoga therapy practice, and continue to blog for over a decade. Didn't see that one coming. It just goes to show you that, yes, the Universe is always abound with unexpected surprises and delights.
Just last week I got an offer to buy my blog. I wasn't all that surprised, as I've noticed that when you start making space for new things that old things tend to fall away. Since the beginning of the year I've been backing off from my yoga business and not blogging regularly. My life, just as my yoga and meditation practices throughout the years, is about to shift again. I'm not quite sure exactly what the exact form it's going to shift into, but that's part of the joy of it all. After all, you don't erase yourself so that you can simply re-draw yourself into a 2.0 version of yourself. Instead, you give space for whatever needs to arise so that it can do so.
It's quite possible that creating space for me looks like ending this blog and closing down my yoga business. I've got over ten years of content here and frankly, I'm quite attached to it, as so much of it is personal to me. I have no idea if I'm going to sell it or...I don't know what. I want to hear what you think about this. Get in touch at uncommonyogi at gmail dot com. I'm open to suggestions, thoughts, offers, whatever you want to share.
The reason I started practicing yoga -- connection -- is something that's come to the forefront for me over these past few years. That's where I'm headed. I'm in the process of creating something different and it is around being a crusader for connection. What that looks like is still a question, but it's most likely going to be a community endeavor, where I won't focus on teaching anything. I'll merely be holding space and focusing on building a community based on connection. It looks something like a living namaste -- connecting to the divine in me so I can connect to the divine in you. Like with my other endeavors and practices, it's still me -- it's just taking on another form. I get excited and delighted by presence, connecting to self and others in a deep, nourishing way, connecting with all of life and living from that place. This has certainly played a part in my life and my own personal transformation and I've used it in my private practice and watched others transform as well. It's time for me to build on this and create something around it.
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For now this blog stays live and I will post when moved to do so. I'll keep you up to date as things unfold (and I continue to unravel).