Writing this post feels like stepping back onto my yoga mat after a lengthy break. It starts out feeling a bit odd but after some breathing and movement, it starts feeling more familiar, more natural. Before long the body and breath are flowing and voila -- you're back into a yoga practice.
Blogging here has been a bit of a challenge for the past 6 months or so. Even though I still practice yoga regularly and love to write, my life has been changing in some amazing and surprising ways and at times my writing doesn't want to stick to the topic of yoga. For the past few weeks, I've been feeling like I have nothing to say. That 'I've lost my momentum' feeling was raging and I kept putting off sitting down to blog because a topic didn't magically come to mind.
That's when I decided to apply what I do in my yoga practice to this situation: I decided that I would simply start. In my yoga practice, that can mean unrolling my mat and doing some simple movements. Or it can mean hanging out in Downward Dog or Savasana until I feel the desire to do more. Making the decision and starting without an end -- in this case a full yoga practice -- in mind is all it takes to prime the pump.
If it's good enough for my yoga practice, the why wouldn't it be good enough for my yoga blog?
So I sat down and decided to tell the truth -- I haven't felt inspired to post, I haven't been feeling like I have anything to say, etc. And now here I am in the thick of a post that went from an empty text box complete with impatient blinking cursor to sentences and paragraphs. There seems to be a common thread in all spiritual type practices -- you simply begin. If you stop, you don't beat yourself up. You simply come back. Again and again and again. Start. Stop. Come Back. Repeat.
It's so simple and yet there are plenty of abandoned blogs and dusty yoga mats that haven't seen hand and/or footprints in months and years. As I write this post, I realize I've been telling myself a major lie about a new project that's been simmering inside of me for months now. I'm telling myself that I'm not ready, don't have anything to say, don't know what to do, don't have the time to do it, BUT none of those are true. That's my mind throwing up diversion tactics to keep me spinning my wheels, eventually tiring myself out. What's true is that I talk myself out of starting. And when I do start, I fail to come back. I've got plenty of excuses for why that is, but they are all just white noise. What's true is that I have plenty to say, I've got plenty of time, I know exactly what to do and how to do it and my only job is to start and come back.
So this post started off with confusion and has ended up with a lesson for me. Perhaps that's why I've been putting off posting -- I just wanted to hide a bit longer behind my "I don't have anything to say" excuse. Earlier today, I was engaged in some serious procrastination activity (read: Facebook) in lieu of writing this post. This made me laugh and it's applicable here:
Posted by Viral Thread on Sunday, September 27, 2015
It's not so much that you ain't trying hard enough. You're just denying what's really happening for you. No, this isn't an endorsement to go deeper in your yoga postures (but that little doggie assist is darned adorable), but it is an invitation to go a bit deeper into yourself. Are you too busy beating yourself up for not coming back or listing excuses for why you're not coming back when you could just come back?